What I Wish I Knew at 61 Days Sober

(Back When I Was Sober Curious)

Thirty days sober is often celebrated as a milestone—and it is. But if I’m being completely honest, it’s also kind of awful. It is an anticlimatic disappointment.

At 60 days sober, I felt better about myself in a way, proud of the "accomplishment," but it wasn't much of a reward. Alcohol was still very much whispering in my ear, luring me back.

I remember thinking:

“I’m still depressed without alcohol… I may as well drink.”

And that thought made perfect sense at the time. Because no one really talks about this part.

The Truth About 30-60 Days Sober

Early sobriety isn’t actually supposed to feel good, at least in my experience.

There is still a lot of healing happening beneath the surface. Alcohol wreaks havoc on the body and nervous system, and the repair work is far from complete.

Your brain is still recalibrating.
Dopamine hasn’t stabilized.
Stress hormones are adjusting.
Your window of tolerance is still narrow.

You feel just well enough to notice how uncomfortable you still are.

And that’s brutal.

At 30-60 days:

• The urgency to drink hasn’t disappeared

• Emotional lows can feel more pronounced

• The promise that “sobriety will make me feel better” starts to feel… suspicious

This is the point where many people conclude:

“See? Alcohol wasn’t the problem. I’m just like this.”

But that conclusion is premature.

What I Didn’t Know Then (But Know Now)

The early days of sobriety or hard, because that’s the messy middle.

I wasn’t cycling between anxiety and numbness anymore, which was a relief.
But sobriety didn’t make me happy. It made me awake.

Something I find genuinely fascinating is this: most sobriety stories online come from people with: under 90 days, or years of sobriety (1,460+ days). But very few talk about what happens between those points.

What happens after the initial fog lifts, but before life feels inspiring again?

That middle stretch is where:

• Identity gets stripped down

• Old coping mechanisms are gone

• New ones haven’t fully formed yet

• You’re no longer in crisis, but not yet in clarity

• It’s quiet. It’s boring. It’s uncomfortable.

And it’s also where the deepest rewiring happens.

If you are feeling the urge to return to drinking because sobriety doesn't feel good enough, this isn’t a willpower issue. It’s a timing issue.

At 30–90 days sober:

• You’ve removed the numbing agent

• But haven’t restored your capacity to regulate your nervous system yet.

• You’re feeling more—but don’t yet know what to do with it

• Alcohol "promises relief"

Without context, it’s easy to believe:

“This is as good as sobriety gets.”

It’s not.

It’s just the doorway.

If I could speak to my sober-curious self after the night I knew alcohol was dangerous (4 years before I got sober)

I would tell her this:

• It is normal to still want to drink.

• It is normal that you don’t feel better about your life, yet.

• This phase is not the destination; that is the hard-ass crossing

Thirty days sober is a doorway, not the path.

The reward—the stabilizing, the clarity, the quiet confidence—comes later. Much later than I expected!

And it doesn’t arrive all at once.

It arrives slowly.

Subtly.

In ways you don’t notice until one day you realize:

"I can feel all of my feelings without needing or wanting to escape or numb."

That’s the moment sobriety stops being about not drinking and starts being about learning how to live your life, and love living without alcohol. If you're sober and wondering whether this is worth it, you are right where you're supposed to be.

This part is uncomfortable.

And honestly, it's going to take some grit to bear this cross.

Today, I have just over six months of sobriety. And honestly, I can’t imagine anything that would make me want to drink again. Not because I hate alcohol. But because I finally understand how useless it is as a way to cope or “take the edge off.”

Alcohol doesn’t give relief, it prolongs suffering.

It doesn’t provide connection and fun, it is the epitome of disconnection from Self and others.

For me, it became clear that drinking was a complete waste of time and energy, if I want the life I say I want to live.

Yoga, on the other hand, gave me something alcohol never could.

I go to yoga classes the way some people go to AA meetings. Yoga helps me rebuild my relationship with my body, my breath, my inner world and find ease in the discomfort of my life.

If you’re curious about how yoga can support recovery, you can read more in my post “Yoga Is My Recovery Program.”

And if you’re looking for support along the way, you’re welcome to join my free Facebook group "Off the Rocks: Learning to Love Living Alcohol Free or follow along on Instagram at @off.the.rocks.sober.

Be well on your journey.

It isn’t easy, but it is worth it! Remember, the only way out is through ...Keep going. 🌱